Minecraft Meanie Mobs
by pinkdogtags
Summary: When the attack-y sort of Minecraft mobs are in a house together, stuff happens. Random, crazy, fourth-wall-breaking, chaotic stuff. Inspired by the amazing authoress Reevee21. Also inspired by my little sister, who decided to spawn some mobs in a house together during creative mode. So, yeah, this story is dedicated to my sister. :) I hope you enjoy it!
1. Chapter 1

Once upon a Minecraft time… The First Chapter

"I'm bored." said Zombie one day. He was tired. He had successfully freaked out a new player who had nothing but a wooden sword to defend himself, raided the local village with a couple of his buddies, and managed to escape the evil burning sun. All in all, he did what a normal Minecraft zombie did.

All of a sudden, a random computer cursor appeared out of nowhere.

"Uhh…"

The cursor clicked on Zombie and dragged him onto another tab. "Hey!" It dropped him into this story. Which takes place in a house.

"Sup." said a voice. Zombie turned around and saw many other Minecraft villain mobs sitting on couches in a living room. The one who greeted him was a skeleton.

"There are many of us." said a spider. "Somebody make a list."

"Okay." said an Enderman, who already had a notebook out.

List of People in this VERY Strange House

Zombie

Skeleton

Spider

Creeper

Enderman

Witch

Silverfish

Slime

Wolf

'Wait, why is Wolf here?" asked Witch. "He only attacks players half of the time!"

"I can be evil if I want to!" shouted Wolf.

"Really?" said Witch.

"Yeah."

"Then explain _Twilight_ to me."

The room went silent.

"Oh no she didn't!" whispered Spider to Silverfish.

"Oh yes she did!" whispered Silverfish back to Spider.

"Those are werewolves!" protested Wolf.

"So?"

"Okay!" said Skeleton, walking in between the two. "No need to fight on the first chapter. There'll be _plenty_ of time for that."

"Sure, sure." said Witch, walking away from Wolf with a glare on her face.

"Anyways, why are we here?" asked Slime, with a confused look on his face.

"AUTHOR!" shouted Witch. "YOU ARE AN IDIOT! SLIME HAS NO FACE!"

"**I'm the author, I do what I want."** said a teenage girl's voice. "**And since I'm the author, I'm technically controlling all of you. So be careful."**

"..."

"Anyways, why are we here?" asked Slime, with a confused look on his face.

"**I want you all to live here in this house."** said the author. "**You will live here and get to know each other. You will star in this story for many, many chapters and amuse dozens of readers."**

"But what if I don't want to?" asked Witch. "What if I don't _want_ to amuse dozens of readers?"

"**Too bad, so sad."** said author. "**Actually, I don't care."**

"Can we at least have our own bedrooms?" asked Creeper.

"**Sure!"** All of a sudden, a hall appeared, branching off from the living room. "**Your room has your face on the door."**

Everybody went to look for their rooms.

"Hey, author?" asked Spider. "How come this room has a picture of dog tags that are colored pink?"

"**That is my room and strictly forbidden."** said author. "**Even Enderman can't teleport into there."**

"She's right!" called out Enderman in the distance.

"Oh, okay." Spider walked into his room.

"AHHHHHHHHH!" Everyone heard a high-pitched squeal coming from the other side of the house. Everyone went and out and found another hall branching from the living room. In this hall were typical rooms one might find in a house. A drawing room, a playroom, a movie theater, a ballroom. And a lot more.

Enderman was in the library, where there were books and beanbags and books and a couple of small circular tables and lots more books. Enderman was staring up at a big huge bookshelf lined with many amazing books.

"There are Harry Potter books in here." he said slowly. "Harry Potter books." He turned to face the crowd of fellow prisoners- I mean, fellow housemates. "HARRY FREAKING POTTER!"

"I didn't know that Enderman was such a nerd." muttered Witch.

"He wouldn't look that bad with stereotypical nerd glasses actually." said Silverfish.

"**True."** said author, stroking her chin in a thinking sort of manner. "**But anyways, everyone come on over to the living room."**

Everyone walked (or teleported, jumped, or did whatever) to the living room. It had transformed into a room with a long wooden table with enough chairs for everyone. There was a big pink chair at one edge of the table and no chairs at the other edge.

"**This will now be known as the Main Room."** said the author. "**This is where we will hold our meetings, and you guys can do whatever here."**

"Yay!" blurted out Spider, who covered his mouth and sat down, embarrassed.

"**There are a couple more halls I wish to show you."** said author, standing up. She pointed to one hall. "**That is the hall where all the food is. Food is so important and delicious, it deserves a hall all to itself. Each door is labeled with what lies on the shelves within. Fruits, vegetables, meat, candy, baked goods, dairy, ice cream- you get it."**

"FOOD GLORIOUS FOOOOOOOD!" blurted Spider once again, feeling even more embarrassed.

"**The final hall shall remain a mystery."** said author, feeling stupid for making Spider so stupid.

"Until when?" asked Creeper.

"**Until I have an idea for it."** said author. "**So, we all good?"**

"YEAH!" shouted everybody.

"**Okay, well, I'm going to write chapter two know, which means this chapter is ending."**

AUTHOR NOTE

pinkdogtags: Okay, not bad for a first chapter.

Fatachu, the Fat Pikachu: You think so? I think it sucked.

pinkdogtags: You're really bad at criticism.

Fatachu: …

pinkdogtags: Well, stay tuned for the next chapter folks! Remember, I don't own Minecraft! Bye! :D


	2. I hate it When Voldemort

pinkdogtags: Hi guys! Chapter 2 now up and running! I don't own Minecraft.

Once upon a Minecraft time… I Hate It When Voldemort...

"Hey Enderman, check this out!" said Skeleton one day while he was on his laptop.

"What?" asked Enderman, walking over.

"Look at this." Skeleton typed into the Google search box: _I hate it when Voldemort_, but he didn't click enter. "Read it."

"I hate it when Voldemort steals my shampoo." Enderman read. "What the heck? He doesn't even have hair!"

"Keep reading." ordered Skeleton.

"I hate it when Voldemort steals my turban." Enderman read out loud. "I hate it when Voldemort steals my nose."

Enderman face-palmed. "Who makes this stuff up?"

"People." said Skeleton wisely. "Internet people create these things."

"Internet people are weird." said Enderman before going back to reading Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.

"**Did you guys know that this book was originally titled Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone?"** said pinkdogtags.

"They should have kept it like it was originally." said Skeleton.

"How did you know that?" asked Enderman.

"**I did a school project on J.K. Rowling."** said the author. "**For a class that I really do not like."**

"Okay then." said Skeleton. "Is this going to be a short chapter?"

"**Yup."**

pinkdogtags: This is turning out to not be as bad as I thought.

Fatachu: You're right! It's worse!

pinkdogtags: SHUT UP!


	3. Rainboots

Once upon a Minecraft time… Rainboots

"GUESS WHAT I HAVE?!" shouted Wolf one day.

"Can I guess what you don't have?" asked Slime.

"No girlfriend?" asked Silverfish.

"No social life?" asked Zombie.

"No chance of ever convincing me that you can be bad?" asked Witch.

"No. Wrong, wrong, and WRONG!" said Wolf. "Look what's on my feet."

"Fur?"

"No!" he said. "Rainboots!" Wolf showed the gang some shiny rainboots that were bright pink and had cutesey green cartoon whales shooting out cutesey little hearts from their blowholes.

"Aww!" squealed Silverfish. "They're so cuuuuuuute!"

"Yeah, they're author's. She let me borrow them for the chapter."

"**Well, actually, I decided to let you borrow some digital and computerized copies of them. The real ones are laying on the floor of my real bedroom right now. In fact, I'm staring at them as I type this from the corner of my eye."** said pinkdogtags.

"I want some!" shouted Zombie.

POP!

Cutesey blue rainboots with cutesey tiny Pokeballs on them popped onto Zombie's feet.

"Me too!" said Spider.

POP!

Cutesey white rainboots with cutesey Tinker Bells on them popped onto Spider's feet.

"TINKER BELL!" shouted Spider.

"Can I have some too, oh great and powerful authoress?" asked Slime very politely.

"Um…"

"Uhh…"

"Are you serious?"

"**Slime, you have no feet, rendering you incapable of wearing rainboots, or ANY shoes."** pinkdogtags said as nicely as she could.

"You could give me feet, great and powerful authoress." said Slime hopefully.

"**Okay then."**

POP!

Slime now had feet, but covering those feet were FABULOUS red rainboots with FABULOUS cartoon Iron Mans on them.

"OMGOMGOMG!" squealed Slime. "Thank you, great and powe-"

"**Don't say that again."**

"Okie dokie!"

pinkdogtags: I LOVE RAINBOOTS!

Fatachu: I know.

pinkdogtags: THEY'RE FASHIONABLE ANY TIME OF DAY, AND TIME OF YEAR, ANY TIME OF ANYTIMES!

Fatachu: I know.

pinkdogtags: ALRIGHTY THEN! Sorry if the formatting is a little off, I'm experimenting. Anyways, I don't own Minecraft folks, but I do own Fatachu the Fat Pikachu! Kay! See ya next chapter! I'd love it if you could review and/or favorite and/or follow! Thanks! Bye!


	4. Spaghetti and Meatballs

Once upon a Minecraft time… Spaghetti

"I'M HUNGRY!" shouted Wolf one morning.

"I'M HUNGRY!" shouted Zombie one morning.

"I'M HUNGRY!" shouted Spider one morning.

"So eat something." said Enderman, reading the newspaper.

"Like what?" asked Zombie.

"Like spaghetti." said Enderman.

"Okay! Let's make spaghetti!" said Spider.

Wolf ran into the library and came out with a cookbook balanced on his head. Zombie picked it up and started to read.

"Okay! Spider, you get the tomato sauce. Wolf, you get the box of spaghetti strings. I'll start boiling the water."

Zombie put a pot of water on the stove. Then he turned on the stove to one of it's settings.

"What's that smell?" asked Slime.

"I'm making spaghetti."

"Dude, you're burning the water." said Slime. Zombie looked and saw that the water had, indeed, burned and was about to be set on fire.

"What happens when water is lit on fire?" he asked nervously.

"Logic bends. And when logic bends, worlds destroy. And when worlds destroy, it's residents leave. And when it's residents leave, they take over Earth. And when Earth is taken over-"

"I GET IT!" Zombie shouted. He dumped the water in the sink. He filled the pot with new water and boiled it again.

"Just saying, that's what happened with my uncle. His world was destroyed and he had to live on Mars and he doesn't like it there because everything is secret, just in case humans try to find them."

"You're saying there's life on Mars?"

"..."

Slime jumped out of the kitchen as quickly as he could without answering.

"Ooooookayyyyyyyyy." Zombie said.

Wolf came into the kitchen with a box of spaghetti strings and dumped them into the water. "I was thinking, what's the point of spaghetti without meatballs?"

"What made you think that?"

"Well…"

*FLASHBACK*

_Wolf was walking down the hallway with the box of spaghetti strings._

"_What's that for?" asked Witch._

"_We're making spaghetti." said Wolf._

"_Without meatballs?" asked Witch, shaking her head sadly. "Pathetic."_

*FLASHBACK OVER*

"Hey, I can have a smart thought once in a while!" Wolf said, tossing the box into the recycling bin.

"Where are we gonna get meatballs?" asked Spider, putting the tomato sauce jar onto the countertop.

At the table, the three boys heard Enderman chuckle. "Leave that to me." he said mysteriously and creepily as he walked out of the room.

Zombie shrugged before they went back to talking.

A little while later, the spaghetti finished cooking. Zombie scooped some of it into nine bowls, Spider poured a little tomato sauce into each bowl, and Wold carried each bowl to the table. Everyone walked into the room and sat down. Except for Enderman.

"This is good." said Skeleton.

"Eat all of it, we need to fatten you up. You're all bones." said Creeper.

Skeleton glared at him for a minute before going back to eating.

"How are you eating, anyways? Wouldn't it go right through you because you're a skeleton?" asked Silverfish.

"OMG Silverfish, you can't just ask people how they eat!" said Witch.

The table murmured in agreement.

"Hey, where's Enderman?" asked Creeper.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" shouted Enderman as he ran into the room with what looked like a sort of cannon crossed with a gun. He clicked the trigger and a perfect meatball, cooked to perfection, sailed through the air in slo-mo for a moment before speeding up and landing perfectly in Zombie's plate.

:O

:O

:O

Everyone had this facial expression.

"MEATBALLS FOR ALL!" shouted Enderman as he shot meatballs into everyone's plate.

"Woah." said Slime.

pinkdogtags: Yes, I do believe Enderman has become the strange sort of fellow.

Fatachu: Don't talk like that.

Rainbow Dash: Talk like what?

pinkdogtags: Oh good. a new member of the Author's Note Squad!

Rainbow Dash: The Author what?

pinkdogtags: The Author's Note Squad. The group of people in the author's note. So far it's just me and Fatachu, and he's been annoying me lately.

Rainbow Dash: …

pinkdogtags: I don't own Minecraft, or Rainbow Dash, but I own this story, which is something. See you next chapter! Byyyyyyeeeeeeeeee!


	5. Chocolate

Haaaaiiiiiiii! pinkdogtags here with da newest edition of Minecraft Meanie Mobs, informing you about the doings of your favorite mobs since…. uh…. like two weeks ago.

Once upon a Minecraft time… Chocolate

There once were mobs who derped around.

"Derp." said Enderman.

"Derp." said Wolf.

"Derp." said Slime.

"Who wants chocolate?" asked Zombie?

"WANT!"

"WANT!"

"WANT!"

"What's chocolate?" asked Creeper innocently.

…

Everyone looked in horror at Creeper.

"What?" Creeper shrugged. Or, he would have, but he has no shoulders. So, use imagination.

"Tie him down." said Witch.

Boom!

All of a sudden, Creeper was sitting in a chair in a dark room, tied in rope. Enderman was sitting behind a desk, wearing a black trench coat and a cool-looking fedora.

"Tell me, Creeper a la Explosion de Lemon, why you have never tasted chocolate."

"How did you know my name was Creeper a la Explosion de Lemon, and how did you know it was said in a French accent?" Creeper asked. "What's my middle name?"

"Sparkle."

Creeper's eyes widened. "HOW DID YOU KNOW?"

"I know everything." Enderman said. "Now, TELL ME!"

"Take five, Joe." said Zombie, pushing Enderman out the door.

"What's the matter with you people?" Creeper said, struggling against the ropes.

"Alright Creeper, I'll go easy on you." Zombie said. HE held out a plain Hershey's bar. "Eat the chocolate."

"Why?"

"Because I said so."

"Hold on." said Creeper. "We have an interrogation room in this house? That looks exactly like the ones in crime movies even though the author's never seen one and she's basing it off of what she saw online?"

"Yeah." Zombie walked closer. "Eat the chocolate."

"But then I'll ruin my appetite, and lunch is in an hour."

"EAT!" Zombie shouted.

"Okay, okay, calm down." Creeper took a bite of the chocolate.

8o

"THIS IS AMAZING!" shouted Creeper, who ate more of the chocolate.

Zombie smiled as he picked up a walkie-talkie. "Mission complete."

"Good good, very good." said a mysterious voice. "Now, I heard Spider doesn't like cotton candy, that needs to be fixed immediately."

"Aye-aye sir!" Zombie said, walking out of the room very epicly.

Broadcast by Author's Note Squad

pinkdogtags: ya like? I figured I might as well make my Author's notes _special_

Rainbow Dash: why am I being held hostage in this story? I don't even belong in this fanon!

Fatachu: heh heh, hostage

Rainbow Dash: what's so funny?

Fatachu: heh heh, hostage

pinkdogtags: heh heh, you said hostage in an interrogation chapter

Fatachu: heh heh

pinkdogtags: heh heh

Fatachu: heh heh

Rainbow Dash: stop typing heh heh!

pinkdogtags: but it's fun! you try

Rainbow Dash: heh, heh?

Rainbow Dash: heh heh

Rainbow Dash: heh heh

pinkdogtags: I own this story, but I don't own Minecraft, Pokemon, Rainbow Dash, or Hershey's. Fatachu is product of pinkdogtags Inc., and charges will be pressed if you use him. LOL, just kidding, but seriously, HE'S MINE!


	6. Circus

Sorry about the late update! It's not nice to leave my fans hanging... :(

Once upon a Minecraft time… Circus

"Circus? Really?" asked Witch.

"Yes!" said Zombie. "It's a wonderful idea!"

"It's a horrible idea." said Witch.

"I like it." said Wolf quietly.

"I don't like you, so your opinion doesn't matter."

Wolf sighed. "People call me a puppy, I'm used to it."

Then, a computer cursor started petting Wolf, and he rolled over with a smiley face on. "Arf arf!"

Witch rolled her eyes. "Horrible idea."

At that moment Enderman chose to teleport into the room wearing white face paint, a rainbow afro, and two red cheeks. Wolf widened his eyes in horror and fled the room, screaming.

"Heh heh, that was fun." Enderman tossed the wig aside and ate a donut.

"So, Wolf's afraid of clowns?" Witch said. "Interesting…"

*Spongebob Narrator Voice* _Later that day…_

"Hey Wolfie!" shouted Witch.

"Ugh, what?"

"Guess what? I found a huge fan of yours." Witch said, snickering lightly.

Wolf puffed out his chest. "See? Us Wolves _are_ pretty amazing."

Witch pulled out a clown from behind her back. It waved hi to Wolf and Wolf screamed and fled from the scene.

"EWEWEWEWEWEWGETITAWAYFROMMEOHMYGOSHIT'SSOSCARYOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHGETITAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!"

Enderman teleported into the room. "I heard screams of horror and I thought I should be a witness in case they ever want to make a horror movie based on a true story."

Witch stared at him for a good five minutes before walking away. "Author, can you make these people sane?"

"**Nope, cause good girls never made history."**

"I'm the only female in this story."

"**You know what I mean."**

Witch sighed. "I gained nothing from this chapter."

"**Not true."** The author pointed out. "**You discovered Wolf's fear, which you can use against him at any time."**

Witch put an evil smile on her face. "True, true…" She walked out of the chapter, intent on doing something… uh… witchy.

Uh oh.

Broadcast by Author's Note Squad

pinkdogtags: WHAT DID I JUST TYPE?

Fatachu: Nice job. Now he's doomed.

pinkdogtags: Actually, I could make a pretty good chapter out of that…..

Rainbow Dash: DON'T!

pinkdogtags: I don't own Minecraft, guys! And girls.

Fatachu: We get the idea. You don't own anything. Whoop-dee-doo.

pinkdogtags: I own you, and I can remove you from this story anything I want to.

Fatachu: ….

pinkdogtags: Byyyyyyye!


End file.
